[ 9 ]

[p.9] June 22nd 22nd “Its by no means a simple problem.” said Elvira, I grant you that. ^No Its damnably difficult – Here you have It is |one false |step & |we're |damned t^The King’s speech: ^speech: dying. In the [can't] end with the Kings speech: thats the difficulty: & so, the emotion So whats he going to do? He's got to go on. But if he breaks the emotion wrongly; its a Its a question Either it runs to waste; So after the kings speech - ^[Im?] now what?” She turned the page, with a rapid [excited?] flick. Thats the very last thing I should have expected! she exclaimed. Never mind: there may be a reason for it: let me My god! What a rat: You're [wasting?] it, you're [wasting?] it; no on the whole I see what you're up to: but you're playing a very risky game I may tell you: unless indeed this passage is [purely?] written for the stage. She half shut her eyes.

You ^You see, Maggie, she went on running her eye down the page, this I see ^that's what he; thinking he's what [after?] he thinks Now if I go to that here, he says to himself, Look here: [relieve?] this by that; unpleasant as the shock will be he says - & it is a very violent affect – believe me, when I tell you that the only possible continuity lies in [mostly?] the humdrum, action Possibly he's right. On the other hand, I should expect one little word – new wheels? a [illeg.] if not the word, the innkeeper will repeat, the rhythm: for otherwise, I shall be inclined to charge you with – waste. Lies." she read on.

Her sister, Magdelena, came in with a handful of knives & forks, she was laying the table in their sitting room for lunch. Elvira half turned

[ 10 ]

“That’s all [right?]” said Elvira. Well d’you think it is?” said Maggie, stopping to look over the lunch table.

“Bread, mustard, . . . tumblers” she went in to the kitchen & bought three tumblers

“Bread, mustard ^milk , tumblers” she began again. What about a vase of flowers?”

Elvira looked at her sister laying the table. She [illeg.] took some flowers from a jar, put them in the middle of the table. There were three two kinds of different reds in the bunch & one white. Elvira watched the arrangement with growing interest.

Its wonderfully absolutely lovely! perfect!" she exclaimed getting ^[illeg.] up & letting her book fall on the floor. [illeg.] Come here Maggie: Now look! They stood looking at the lunch table together.

How Now look! she repeated I say Maggie, however did you do it! the table, when I began I read was a [mess?] mass of disconnected letters : & now This rose has put forth ^[illeg.] all its leaves... [confused?] at the same time, ^{Maggie she} you have got to remeber Maggie that when you lay a table, its important, in a sense, to remember that two people aren’t three. “she laughed.

Two people aren’t three,” Maggie repeated I mean, dazed in a rapture of contemplation, pure & simple, you said to yourself, a triangle's what I want in that square table: a triangle breaks the hard & angular uniformity: breaks up said, the flowers in the middle you sit an [illeg.]

[ 11 ]

“No: too many it doesn’t do” said Maggie, taking out the leaf which she had put red, with-|whole [illeg.] [illeg.]|Which was|[flueu?]: & among the flowers

But “ I told you Rose is ^{coming to lunch} lunching here” she said at length. We are three.

“You told me, what?” said Elvira You told me – Maggie, exclaimed, Elvira. I told you last night she said; I told you in so many words: I said to you, Rose?” Elvira exclaimed Rose, yes, ^{she repeated} said Maggie: Not a flower Pargiter.”

Of all damnable ^acts things , that you ever done, said Elvira, wanton [crueller?], infringements of V un written laws, which should be more binding than written laws . . . It’s a kind of outrage-. It’s a kind of murder, Its the rain of whole day & what might have been happy life because|we only|have one|life!happiness, freedom. [illeg.] with one speech a [whole?] page – [inferringly?], contrasting, [Elvira?] [illeg.] sending vile, [illeg.] [illeg.] [illeg.] the afternoon. I was there I was leading – I was finding out why the break came there: I was about to lay my table, Maggie, on one of the most profound laws. of I was saying to myself, discovering what is the principle that [its?] I was saying, now I perceive why its But

[ 12 ]

But she'll be here in five minutes, said Maggie She picked up her book & put it violently into the shelf.

There! she exclaimed Now we sit down- heretable for three hours: how's Richard, hows Clara; hows the cat ^& dog & the do in an [who?] [clean?] boots: to which she replied; Hows John [illeg.] Rose,|Rose|Pargiter|[illeg.]... Paul: I then, having dropped a glove, on a bus... Well Maggie, that, the kind the way you think [women?] more! Thats the way We spend the loveliest time! [illeg.], all because Maggie...why did you ask her Maggie?" flushed with some momentary enthusiasm Rose [illeg.]|[who?]|Maggie she stopped. What d'you think Rose [would?] [say?] she [suffered?] Rose [illeg.] almost anything, she added: [Dream?], until this moment Rose, to me, was wholly non-existent.

Rose, Delia, Milly. Eleanor: said Maggie any day?|[wch?]:|two [horses?]:|then never|again Morris, Edward. & Bobby. Uncle Abel is still alive. But Aunt Rose ^{is [old?]} died before we were born. So she [waits?] & said, any day last week: or any day last month. lunch; tea Some are red; some are brown: The Pargiters” she concluded.

But Rose, Elvira, continued: who is coming to lunch, who is approaching even now, from this [abyss?] of nonentity in which she has dwelt –

Rose! who's Rose! never heard of Rose – but she’s coming: & the situation is, about this unknown woman who is coming to lunch & detangling & tearing up a whole lifetime of happiness – where’ll she sit? –

There! Yes, taking off her gloves, she will sit down opposite the window, so that the first thing she’ll say will be, Chimneys! I [see?] that This part of London I've never been here before: to which I shall

[ 13 ]

^{Just as that leaf-} A little little grave’ Maggie repeated A little little grave, Maggie repeated. You took away the leaf; Elvira in repeated;

[ 14 ]

Because, of course I took away the leaf. You took.. of course: I mean..

But why.

I look away because quite obviously, if you look, look, at that, well obviously. . .

Not thinking of death, not thinking of youth: you didn’t think of passionat spent women, women who have loosened the girdle [of?] that

No, no no.” Maggie interrupted. Come here Hunch. Now look.. When ^if you put a leaf ^green in the middle of flowers . . with red &

Yes, but when I run my eye down that pathway to the central final [explosion?]. . time the air rings & echoes Of course, it might be more interesting – she She very cautiously altered the position of the flowers again.

Isnt it a mystery! Elvira exclaimed, [swinging?] [illeg.] A miracle, I should say Well that there should be flowers, she exclaimed ^[illeg.] , & ourselves: To be them: yet ourselves, so that at some point we become not ourselves, but other but flower; & not to know where the division comes, or why, “Obviously not”

A bell rang downstairs Elvira put up her hand, as if to silence it ward it off.

But at what point; I think ^{[illeg.] must be} , she exclaimed that there must be some, final point: some of [illeg.]; beyond.

“Rose.” Maggie whispered. The bell had

[ 15 ]

Oh Maggie, Maggie. Elvira hissed drawing her lips up over her teeth. Here she comes. This

This is the [illeg.], this is the distraction, this is the [Grit?] apparently ^[illeg.] necessary torture – Elvira hissed: Why ask her

“One hour: two at most” said Maggie: If its it were two, or three, or even two; you might complain anybody can face one hour. Indeed, theres no choice.”

But Maggie dear, dont you see – this woman, We dont know this woman: she comes [humbly?] through the air; [illeg.] for what reason?: [destroying?]: ugly, [illeg.] all of a [twitter?]: without aim or [illeg.], [illeg.] saying, lunch lunch lunch: something like that; This is

She comes up, & up, & up: ^not trailing behind her, perhaps, a machintosh [illeg.]; & a [paid?]; & this

D'you know ^think Maggie: life holds many more moments of like this: more torture;? She grasped her sister's hand.

Any number, I should say” Maggie repeated, going to

Hullo Rose, she said, going forward, as Rose came in. How d’you do.?

But Maggie; dont you see: just as we are beginning to grasp – to understand – then comes this woman hurtling through the air to [illeg.] the [conversation?]. I dont suppose” she added, twitching. We hopping from foot to foot, like a bird

[ 16 ]

"Nonsense" said Maggie

"Hullo” Rose” she said going forward, as Rose came in. “How d’you do?”

"Its an age since we met” said Rose, shaking hands. Indeed, she had slipped out of seeing them; they had scarcely met since Maggie & Elvira were children. The room seemed to her very bare, & rather poverty stricken. There was a cabinet which however which she remembered in their old Broome Street home. And then she looked out of the window, at the factory chimneys & rows of slate | roofs, | like | half opened | [illeg.] & the t steeples: which for, looking for a cheap house, her cousins had found one, across Waterloo Bridge, on the unfashionable side of the river.

“That stood in the drawing room didnt it?” she said returning to the cabinet. She was very shy. And this was in the kitchen," said Maggie, drawing up a cha touching a chair: And that glass looking glass – Rose continued That looking glass, said Elvira, “is thats the glass Mama was looking in when she died. What She had just put a flower in her dress to go to a party....” she stopped. At the mention of death, Rose’s face had given a no a spasm crossed Rose’s face. Elvira stopped

Fetch the pie; its in the oven" said Maggie: And turn the gas down – but not out...

You like this part of London?” Rose continued. You dont find it too far - ?” From ^{that depends} No it not far " – said Maggie I mean.

What Maggie means is, said Elvira

[ 17 ]

“I remember ^{your house} going to tea with you” said Maggie. Years & years ago. You came in: Its ^[Theres?] a very long room.” & there a tree at the end; & theres a picture of a woman in white...

Oh mama, when she was young" said Rose. And theres a table in the middle”

Its all just the same ^{Its still [illeg.]}now" said Rose. “Theres a^the table; theres the picture; & theres the ^{tree &}back garden where Bobby & I...”

What did you do in the back garden" Elvira asked. And Eleanor, pouring out tea. She still pours out tea And then what happens? said Elvira. The door opens & in comes^{a maid} - ?”. Oh Crosby, with the tea cakes.,” Rose laughed. Crosby’s been with us for almost forty years” But then Rose, said Elvira, looking at her cousin, you must have been just a child: when you must have a little girl in a starched pink frock:

You all sat round the ^[illeg.] table,” said Elvira: Theres the picture: theres the window: & a very old woman, handing plates” said Elvira. Yes. Well then, when you were quite a small child you, in pink satin – starched, your skirts sticking out; ^{all starch} you would come in, I suppose, & see them all sitting round & think...

I was rather a solitary little girl.” said Rose. I was the youngest.. Bobby was

[ 18 ]

That tea party. But tell us the story – said Elvira. She laid her hand affectionately on her cousin's The story? But It was only that I used to come down to drawing room teas when I were about ten: &..

And then?

Rose hesitated.

Hows John? she asked. This is delicious food, she said. Get some more the potatoes” said Maggie: Elvira rose to fetch them. Her cousins then had no servant, Rose concluded. She asked Maggie, do you cook this delicious meal yourselves?” “We have a woman who comes in from 8 to 12: & then she comes in from 3 to 6: & then she comes 8 to ten 10: or she stays away [forever?], telling stories drinking: & sometimes she comes all bruised; & she says...but what is the point ^why Rose, said Elvira, of mix things up.’ We were at tea in Abercorn Terrace: & the door opened, & in came Rose, a little girl of ten in a white frock...

Rose always dressed in pink” said Maggie A chalky pink. Which stood out round her: & she was fierce.

Very fierce” said Rose. I had the devils own temper. I can remember, when Bobby shut me out of the school room; slamming the bathroom door, & [dashing?] my head against the wall. ^{You are not like what I [illeg.]..}

[ 19 ]

I’m forty” said Rose. [sketch?] you see: [And] ^{which was} its wrong as usual” said Maggie.

“Because ^{Rose [illeg.]}you are very nice looking Rose; & well dressed; [illeg.] in clothes which I daresay for clothes that are cut like that following the ripple of the arm like a [illeg.] skin, you have to go to Bond Street & summon the head tailor...? ^{said Elvira} If you want to|know, said|Rose|Then? send|Rose|patting her|skirt -

How’s Uncle Abel? said Maggie. they cost five pound ten; ^{I shd think} about two years ago, & I bought them, if you want to know in Westbourne Grove...” she helped herself to potatoes “you see, I knock about, in trams, in omnibuses” she added. I’m a sort of [drudge?].

You mean Maggie ^[illeg.] a Purple Emperor, [illeg.] But you're the shadow of whose wings [illeg.] upon the [illeg.]...But you’re wrong. People meeting like this; suddenly, naturally so we say silly things after all, do you see? We don’t know. [have?] Naturally meeting like this suddenly violently, we're all wrong,’ Why ^then did you wish to come here? I spent the money At a committee. Elvria asked, ^Because you hate [illeg.] she added. Elvira asked, you’ve the devils own temper” , said ^asked Elvira.

[ 20 ]

When you were shut in the bathroom, what did you do?’

“I banged my head against the wall.”

Lets skip thirty years” said Elvira. You Now, it’s the day before yesterday, you meet Maggie – Rose was standing at the corner of ^{waiting for a bus in} Piccadilly: so was I: thats how it happened.

I was going to a meeting I w knew Maggie. Not a [drudge?], you said to yourself: a [push?] [suspense?]

I saw a girl in a large hat whom I thought I knew.

And you remembered? I felt simply felt – she hesitated. affection? Love? Curiousity? Did you I Had you any feeling that you can put a name to: Something direct, overpowering: or was it a mere dubious tickle of something sweet yet muddy to which you could put no name. But suddenly you said Look here - That’s a cousin of mine: I'll lunch with her?' Because after all a feeling, which begs [things?] [off?] like this, violent collision, entailing heaven knows what surprise – because I was reading a book when the bell rang. Heaven I said whats this Rose said Maggie And I felt, A whole page of life is sent across. But d’you know during the past five minutes, no a figure has been rising in my mind, of a woman whom, in a coat & hat, & a blue skirt; & so on; a resolute; rather dogged woman; only she’s very shy; she’s keeping herself to herself; she is finds herself in a position where she has to [lead?] the [flow?], tapping, like an old [ram?] She a

[ 21 ]

Thats beautiful ^{I see} ” said Elvira That gives the quality at once. Now I begin to understand. Explain it “said Elvira. There was a sort of beauty. You see when I heard you were coming I felt ‘ Thats ^there , the whole page torn across. But now – And often Bobby went to school, what happened to you?”

“I went to college...^But only after a row.

^{A row} with Uncle Able Abel?” Maggie asked.

“The man who has only three fingers on one hand” said Elvira: Little shiny knobs, horrible”

Yes. ^{Papa was wounded} He lost them in the Indian Mutiny” said Rose.

“The Indian Mutiny, Maggie, was a rising of natives.’ largely owing to the fact that I think cartridges were greased with cow's fat.

That’s so isn't it Rose; you mustn't mix it up with the Black hole of Calcutta or with the Boer War for that matter of that.

There was a row with that very red large, rather red faced, but in some way, amiable old man I always preferred him to my own father” she added. asks. Whom you hated?” she said

I don’t hate Papa” said Rose. I let I never hated Papa. I was very proud of him: I am still, I think. In a way, I am very fond of him. Lets take our coffee over to the armchairs, & discuss our father” said Elvira: She flung herself down on the sofa; & Maggie & Rose sat in the low wicker chair We hated our father said Maggie Elvira May I take off my hat –

[ 22 ]

No Elvira: no.’ said Rose, putting up her hand. I did. I hated him. A very handsome man; ^{a humbug:} [swinging?] a sword in the looking glass in the hall”

You can’t say you hate your father” said Rose. repeated.

Oh all right then” said Elvira. I Hows Eleanor, hows Morris – I must'nt say I hated my father.” “she took passed a book down from the shelf adding as she did so,

It’s a a lovely view "said I Now Maggie” she added now Maggie,” as if inviting her sister to continue

We were going through ^{trying to remember} the names before you came” said Maggie. ^{the [illeg.]:} Eleanor, Morris, Eleanor Delia, Milly, Edward: but theres one I’ve forgotten.

Delia” said Rose. She married just the other day, an Irishman"

Oh Delia...Morris is a bachelor Edward is a don; Milly… well then Morris is a barrister.. ^{"Yes" They say he'll} Morris will soon be a judge said Rose And Edwards a don. Rather a well known Oxford don. Milly married a man called Gibbs: & Delia:...well, rather to our surprise, Delia, when she was over forty; married a Irishman, a painter."

“Married an Irishman, a painter” said Elvira repeated. Go on for ever Rose, she Married; telling the story of the Pargiters: Its ^This wonderful, the story of the Pargiters. We're ^{its an ordinary} a perfectly ordinary ^[illeg.] English family” said Rose. Too ordinary. I sometimes think.

[ 23 ]

Delia ^always had a passion for ^Ireland the Irish” said Rose. She was would have liked to be a musician: Just as I should have liked to be a lawyer. And you two?” she added. ^{Now that you're} on your own – what are you going to to do with yourselves? Well said Elvira, laying back again That’s a very Maggie|[illeg.] is|she|[illeg.] interesting question Maggie isnt it, said Elvira. As it would be interesting, if we had [listened?] But look at Maggie: she’s not [listening?]. Just because there’s an bit of [roll?] on the table, & a pot of flowers.– Maggie's been thinking all this time, Climbing all this time; higher & higher, Until shes now in a sort of [illeg.] & the yellow [illeg.] is a [illeg.] now she lays like a bee on the

I was thinking Maggie started. You were talking about

[Isnt?] what’ said Maggie We were talking about all sorts of things” said Elvira, [illeg.]. You see Rose says one mustnt say one hates ones father. – one mustnt tell the truth about anything. Why no? [illeg.], because, says Rose, the [illeg.], of the family the continuance of Abercorn Terrace & the [illeg.] round tea table, & the maid

[ 24 ]

I was thinking that Rose – that Rose” said Maggie, hesitating: You see, Hunch, with her back to the light, - ^against And the chimney.”

I was never thought b Yes, yes -

Its very impressive” said Elvira. Nonsense” said Rose, jumping up. “I cant sit here & be looked at. I’m the most ordinary looking person in the whole world” she said. She reddened, putting her hands to her hat. “Take it off” said Maggie. Yes Thats very fine” she said.

Its very fine, she said, as a, as a – “Its very fine Its a composition” said Elvira said, But as a human being, Rose, she looked at her There are all sorts of wonders; things we shall never know: Perhaps guess at. Perhaps invent: And & die very likely, in a fog. not knowing. But you were saying, Rose, that what the devil are you doing here? You two two women in the prime of life: with ten fingers; ten toes; & Maggie a fine woman: though Elvira, [illeg.] being seems to me a chatting [humbug?}: & chatting ^deformed hunch back: a masss of affection & lies: well:

[ 25 ]

You say good morning & good night. Pass the butter. The Hows Papa? Hows John? Hows The old man Leaving out. I [put?] in another form of lying, that’s all – But you were saying Rose. before we indulged in this twitter of interrogation – time flies moreover - I saw you look at the clock – but its fast [hour?] – hour fast:” she pulled Rose down into her chair again – you were saying something of the most profound interest to all thinking men & women. What is the aim of life? Why do you live? What do you do? Now you begin “My aim in life is –"

Rose sat [alert?] with her bag on her knee. “I don’t put it to myself like that One, two, three, four, five” Elvira counted If you dont talk, I shall” she began. Rose hates injustice” said Maggie suddenley You’ve only got to look at her.” Obviously. “I dont want to – sit on a high horse” said Rose. But you find, she looked at Maggie – you have no feeling; - she got up, looked out of the window. ‘I dont think I could live in a slum like this – in front of a public house – without feeling, in a very foolish sort of way – when a

Sweep all public houses off the face of this Earth, ^[illeg.] put [glowing?] trees instead of them” said Elvira:

Look at these wretched little children” said Rose looking down into the street.

Stop them, then” said Maggie. Stop them having children.”

“But you cant” said Rose

[ 26 ]

We wouldn’t have children if we didnt want them” said Maggie.

You wouldnt be allowed ^{But you cant} Say that in public” said Rose. You can say that here to me, in private; Rose blushed. “well you cant anyhow say those things in public. You cant she said

But What an extraordinary world you live in! Elvira exclaimed

No you dont go” said Elvira, taking her bag & holding it: you dont go, leave us mystified

But I have an appointment at three said Rose.

Well, I think its a very odd world you live in” said Maggie.

You cant say a common sense thing like that” said Maggie.

Its against the law” said Rose.

What Law? said Elvira.

The Law of England” of course said Rose

[ 27 ]

It seems to me you live in a very odd world” said Elvira. “I have an appointment” she imitated her. You|blushed|twice:|where|we dont|blush,|do we|Maggie|We dont|blush|at all And then those blushes: one: I hate my father. Blush. Two. I wont have a child. Blush.

^[Anyway?] Its your world thats odd said Rose. standing our [illeg.] Do you realise, Elvira, that we are now living in England: in ^its the year 1910? You lie on a sofa: sit up here; Do you realise that –

Its now twenty ^minutes to three, on the 15th June, 1910 said Elvira: And you Rose Pargiter are ^is about to keep an appointment -

She jumped up. Come along then" said said Where are you going? I’ll go with you. Wait one ^a moment. I’ll put on my hat.” She ran out of the room.

W "Hunch The [illeg.] ^[illeg.] talk nonsense” said Maggie: At the same time Rose: “You dont; no” said Rose. “But I dont see ^hows that woman down there going to Hamley Street? with three guineas?”

‘Well then, publish it in the Times” said Elvira. Take half a sheet of notepaper. Begin Sir: or dear Sir, as the case may be: “D’you never take anything seriously Elvira?” said Rose. – Its against the Law.” What Law? The Law of England . . . you don’t seem to realise that we live in England:

You cant say these things in public. Its against the law.” She took

No you dont go” said Elvira taking her bag & holding it. ^{find [out?]}

But I have an appointment” said Rose. [illeg.] us in a state of [illeg.] about the laws of England –

[ 28 ]

And it’s the year 1910” said Rose: Well ^{if you must do} if thats so said Elvira, jumping up. “I’ll go with you. I’ll put on my hat” she ^{got up,} ran out of the room.

It’s a very odd law” said Maggie “come to think of it”

But my dear Maggie, said Rose ^But You read the papers I suppose. Anyhow you meet people... Even if you & Elvira never went to school, you must

You never went to school? said Rose.

We had no education whatsoever”^Never said Maggie. ^{You [had?]} But A governess? Classes?”

Oh a class now & then: but not a governess. . . Uneducated|I should|say. No, never a governess. We’re very very not badly^[illeg.] educated, she added. Elvira [h?] things up out of books, now & again. Hunch of course, reads.

“It struck me, said Elvira, coming in, again, while I was putting on my hat that the whole question, is to ask you Rose ^{said Elvira, coming in,} one more question if you don’t mind: & after all, [illeg.] d’you come to lunch if you do: then: about chastity: What is chastity? it? Because ^{its about [illeg.]} You see, I saw you blush.’ thats odd, I thought to myself. I was saying Maggie wore a wedding ring. You remember perhaps the little scene? ^Now: Maggie & I for the matter of [that?], lying asleep one day on a hill top fail to see the God, ^{sees us} crouched under ^[illeg.] the olive trees: but sure enough he [illeg.], us in his arms. I come to Maggie, & (that is putting it picturesquely for the sake of euphemism) You say, from that moment my dear cousins, I feel contaminated by this mere

[ 29 ]

She means, if we were “not virgins, would you mind? Whats the use of wrapping things up in language Hunch?

Of course I should mind” said Rose, its an instinct

“I should mind very much “ said Rose. Thats what ^So I said ^so said Maggie ^[illeg.] triumphantly We ^{had an} were arguing ^[illeg.] with some people the other night” Elvira explained. I said Chastity is [illeg.] And I said, I said, I said, what I said was,

Really? said Maggie soberly.' at least, she hesitated.

But look at us now said Elvira ^Maggie . “One is a virgin: the other's not. ^Now Which is which?” Thats

I dont think ^{she doesnt} she knows.” Elvira concluded. I dont think she human nature works: Maggie: It’s a damned bore” she added. I dont one what we were hoping was that nature had that Its all a damned lie: Well, we had an Aunt who said She's [illeg.] about like a [beagle?] when's the hare's gone the other way. The whole pack's at fault. What they call instinct – that’s a lie. And yet when a lie has Now Rose...which is which?"

I think it’s a very difficult question” said Rose at last. As we were brought up . . .

In Abercorn Terrace, sitting round the tea table –

Let her talk. Hunch said Maggie… Well thats just it” said Rose.

[ 30 ]

Whole [illeg.] of London were laid desolate from dusk to dawn because of the male – I’ve read about it in a book. The Lady said she sat at the window all a summer day preserving her chastity.”

We hadnt got a [illeg.] [illeg.]” said Rose. And so you went out alone” said Elvira. Thats what I like about Rose!” she exclaimed. Tell her not to do a thing, she at once goes & does it. A very fine family, the Pargiters, in their way: marching through the desert Well I did” said Rose. But I wouldnt allow a child of mine to do it.”

[illeg.] truth as if these things werent complicated But they were tremendously. “Its How far does Elvira know the difference between fact and fiction?” said Rose. Maggie She doesnt seem to me” she added, ^[sad?] to know one from the other. between fact & fiction. Things are much more complicated – the [illeg.], when, as a matter of fact, - I wouldnt let a child of ten go out about now, she said

Yes of course, ^{Harley Street [that?]} that was invented, said Maggie about Harley Street: And of course, were not going to [illeg.] At the same time, But theres some truth in what she says: a here & there – of & one needn't listen. . .

But yes but Maggie, things are so much more difficult – more complicated . . .You cant sum it all up in one word. A A child..” she hesitated.

“That wasn’t altogether fair” said Elvira, coming back carrying a pair of shoes. When we stood up before you –

[ 31 ]

You’re only slightly, very slightly crooked: you [illeg.] ^[illeg.] You will boast.” Maggie [interrupted?]. a slightly, a very slightly crooked woman, as but plain woman, - that you cant [illeg.] – I'm plain, like a unsentimental, without the currency. [illeg.] [force?] of that – she pointed at her [illeg.]– this plain woman, [escapes?]; she walks over Waterloo Bridge; nobody casts an eye her way: whereas Beauty – well, beauties bound to be a prostitute: Maggie that is; if one of us has fallen, Rose; its obviously Maggie, that's all. Beauty passing through the streets draws love to her, the poppies floating in the corn; of the red poppies, in the midst of golden corn – a woman once told me, she was beautiful, yes, [very?], that walking through London, just walking through London, was to her the descent to hell, because of the eyes: & when she goes to Regents Park on a fine Summer’s day, & [illeg.] to have an ice, at a table, under a Eyes Eyes|can [illeg.]|every leaf|like the|darts of the|[illeg.] tree, drawing her gloves off – Well, she said ^{So eat an ice|was for that|woman|impossible} I envied you, Elvira, being so plain.

She was putting on her shoes. Now she stood up ready dressed.

No I dont think you can . . . said Maggie. What d’you say Rose.’ Shabby if you like: but not eccentric.”

She turned Elvira round, looking at her [illeg.]|[melted?],|[illeg.]|[illeg.] [illeg.]|thats|[Elvira?]|[illeg.]a tragedy clothes.

but not so od shabby that you're queer. Even a man on a cart. . .” she came back with another hat, another coat & dressed her sister you

That’s better, certainly, said Rose.

[ 32 ]

Good bye Rose, said Maggie You neednt listen” she added. Whats Maggie going to do now? said Rose

“You tell yourself stories, just as I used to when I was a child” said Rose. I used to pretend that I was riding, riding alone with a message to a besieged garrison a besieged garrison.. and did you deliver it? It was only a game ^{I was always playing} Elvira: And you do it still though you’re grown up.”

And I dont call them games” said Elvira Did you deliver the message said Elvira Oh yes, yes; ^But only I dont call these games and Maggie – whats she going to do?’ Rose asked oh she’ll clear away the lunch: & then she’ll talk to Mrs. [Parsons?], then she’ll take a bag: in what shall we have for dessert today she'll say. Asparagus is over. Strawberries are in: so we’ll have fish, lettuce; strawberries & cream. So she’ll put on her hat, perhaps the grey hat, is it [illeg.] black with one rose, & go along that street, down there -

[ 33 ]

[ 34 ]

There! Suspended over the abyss, it hangs And she goes & brings a cabbage.

Then theres the fish to be bought. Thats what Maggie will do.

But you know Maggie ^her great fault” she said, running her arm through Rose’s: is this “The man on a cart will say” she’ll begin And ^then you may wait six months, she wont End that [illeg.]” but she won’t finish the sentence” They had reached Waterloo Bridge now – Rose stopped. ^{She looked at her watch} It was already half past two. ^{a quart to three} It was all The bridge was crowded. It was like a puzzle, the pieces of which, instead of remaining hooked, perpetually break up the pattern. & then, for a moment form a new one. & break it up again.

What would be quicker? She said to herself, to walk out to take a bus?” Probably it was quicker to walk. She started, at a brisk pace.

“Riding alone, riding through the desert -” Elvira murmured. Thats what you used to say And this And you rode in

[ 35 ]

They were parted by the crowd But you had delivered your message to the besieged garrison” she Elvira continued, when they came together again. It was a splendid adventure, Rose!”

It was only a game!” said Rose. I was ^[illeg.] pretending only pretended I was Pargiter of Pargiters horse... And I was pretending, said Elvira, to be the garrison we looked out the one chink in the tower: all the rest were blocked with sand bags And we saw nothing nothing but the desert stretching for miles round us: & I have I saw a [pull?] of dust on the horizon: I cried. Help help: & we all dashed to the window & there you were, riding.’”

But look here, said Rose, there must be a distinction between whats true, & whats untrue.

Lets pull into this arch a moment & talk about it" said Elvira. “The man who built Waterloo Bridge had that in his mind ^said Let people stop, he said, when he scooped out this little balcony, [illeg.] the nature of truth. Thats Theres St Pauls, Rose.

St Judes. Yes. St Olaves. St Clements. All the city churches” said Rose, looking at the [illeg.] white churches on the bank of the river blazing in the sun.

And Rose, putting on her shoes, as the bells are ringing, & giving her hair, which wont lie flat, another [illeg.] of the comb, says, Well I’m going to church, Papa, as usual, though as a matter of fact I dont

[ 36 ]

Believing isnt But we’re going to be very late" I suppose so

They stood in a bay of the bridge looking at the swelling globe of St Pauls; & at the [illeg.] coloured city churches.

“You say There’s a difference between fact & fiction” said Elvira.” But how would you explain it- Rose? |Where does|it come? But I dont altogether see where the division comes ^{Please explain Rose}- “But we cant discuss that now” said Rose. “I’m late as it is. Come, if you're coming”

‘One moment Rose. Lets feast our eyes on the beauty of the world; on the pomp, splendour of the world:” she turned & looked the other way up towards Westminster. And then if you wont answer the [illeg.] question, Just for a moment [illeg.] how you’d put it in ^[down?] a very few words - the flowing of the water [In?] [illeg.], let in suppose by a woman shall we say, - that woman there.” An elderly woman of the charwoman class had stopped, put down her basket of flowers, & was casting a rather surly & lugubrious look ^{[illeg.] the [illeg.]} at the Thames. What does she see now?”

Nothing I should think, except that she's got to lug that basket all the way up to Holborn perhaps”

“Flood of [better?] waters” then "drown me in your mud, [wash?] in with the cats, the dogs & the other [refuse?]; [wash?] me out to sea, & my bones flow to [coral?], fish [light?] their green lanterns in my eyes - that sort of thing? The sort of thing, Rose?”

Rose was

[ 37 ]

They got into the bus; separated again, for the bus was almost full of people. It swerved & plunged plunging it took its way started off Rose dropping into one seat, Elvira in to another, for it was almost full. [precariously?] for it was almost full of passengers.

“Two to Holborn” said Rose, taking the tickets. Just as I was hoping you’d say to Mayfair” said Elvira. because on a day like this, a day of splendour & beauty, we ought to sit in Hyde Park. We ought to Take green chairs, under a tree, watch beautiful horses, girls with a beautiful men, women, coming, sauntering, & leaning on the railing, & the Serpentine: & dogs barking: children sailing boats; & everything [illeg.], [illeg.] again; & until you know Rose, one leans back & says & the band coming stay; stay. Or if you like [break?], [illeg.], this is, in its way, perfect joy.

But I dont think I do feel that about Hyde Park”, in the mid said Rose; ^{I dont think} in the middle of the London season” in the season.” I want to be in the country.”

Sitting on a [stile?] kicking your heels after a ten mile walk.

Look here this is where we get out If you dont mind ten minutes walk.

[ 38 ]

Yes & I bring home lots of little flowers – I'm a regular English spinster

We get out here, if you don’t mind ten minutes walk" said Rose. When the bus stopped: “This is the way [illeg.]” she said “through the squares." ^{up here} she saw Elvira walked by her side in silence. What were we talking about?” said Rose. Elvira only murmured, vaguely. They walked in silence this is the square. This is ^{Now [illeg.] [illeg.]} where we’re going” said Rose, at last turning down an alley into a square.

Elvira woke up & clutched her arm. I leave you here” she said in some explanation. No. Come|[Elv?] But I want you to meet Eleanor: Bobby: perhaps. Delia may be there. the Pargiters. ^what Its a meeting.” we were discussing at lunch.”

Not in the flesh” said Elvira. And Theyre very ordinary people” said Rose. And it would amuse you. A committee meeting.” she held Elvira firmly by the hand. Please let me go, Rose!’ cried Elvira No, no said Rose you come in & listen you for one moment. Or you could sit in a back room, & read a book.”

Oh Rose how you destroy the very fabric of my life. I said to ^Maggie Rose, she’s torn it across: like that” She made the gesture of tearing some fabric as a sheet across. Thats what I said when I heard you coming upstairs: when we heard the the bell rang, just as we were [laying?] hands, Maggie & I upon - what were we thinking now?” - to humour her, Rose let her allowed her to draw her [past?] the door of the house.

[ 39 ]

But Elvira, said Rose, stopping firmly at the door of the house; after all; if you wont think me an ^[illeg.] [illeg.] awful ass – she

My dear Rose, Elvira exclaimed I was we saw saying to Maggie, I meant it too: Look at Rose with her back to the light. How beautiful!” We are I was going to say, ^{we are} in the flesh.” Yes You ^Sitting sit round a table, & have little bits of blotting paper: & inkstands. And the woman at the top of the table: strikes a bell. & shrugs. Ladies & gentlemen, the [illeg.] before us today - who [illeg.] maybe.

[ 40 ]

Come in & hear what Eleanor says” said Rose, pushing Elvira into the long dark passage. Which was lit by a glass door leading into a little garden at the end.

panelled,|dark|with [curious?]|green [lying]|[illeg.] the|garden That was” she said, leading [illeg.] her upstairs ^{opening the door &} into a room which was arranged as a committee room, with a table in the middle & hard chairs surrounding it & people standing talking: She introduced her first to Eleanor, then to Bobby; Look here you're ^{Disgracefully} late ^Rose said Bobby. Ten minutes late. I know” said Rose: Elviras fault; She talks. because she talks. Its not a real Committee meeting ^{Now she’s going to [illeg.] [illeg.]} she explained

“Only an informal discussion” said Eleanor. If it bores you, This is my cousin, Mr. [illeg.] [Rain?]” she said. My cousin" she introduced her to Miss Ma Merton. My A cousin I dont know” she added, looking at her

Then they began pulling out the chairs: More people came in by degrees. Rose put a chair for Elvira in the window overlooking the garden. if you’re bored, you’ve only to slip out” she said ^whispered pointing to the door

The little woman who had a footstool, Elvira noted, under the table began reading; from & [illeg.] she asked if it was their pleasure that she should sign what she had read? And it was agreedthen she signed. Now it became plain that there was something wrong: it became plain that the [illeg.] I humorous brown man with the twinkling eyes, whom Rose had called Bobby, the man in

[ 41 ]

And most critical we all feel [theres?] said the [illeg.] man whpse face had neither breadth or length: his mouth was [purse?] to [purse?] like; it snapped: whereas Bobby’s face, was loose, like a dogs scruff. But there nows your chance. Nows the time to come out into the open, said Bobby. Perhaps Mr Pargiter then, said Miss Merton wd. have the draft his opinions...

^{Only [illeg.]}And if a question of funds said Rose. That was agreed. If Miss [I?] call upon the Treasurer to read a statement. How do we stand then? said [illeg.] A pale green woman, with a string bag. Would it in be more practical to know precisely how instead. . ? Th I propose that the Treasurer, said Well we’re coming to No objection to|Sunday? said|Rose that in good time now; saw Miss Merton. I call upon the Treasurer...I prop

Does this bore you, said Rose, whispering again By all means, said|Mrs [Bowkes]|only then let's|open the| window as she crossed to open the window, by which Elvira was sitting.

[Rose?] Its the most exciting thing I’ve ever been at,’ in my life, Elvira whispered back: [illeg.] [of?] [illeg.], Rose: only those [give?] me, half a sheet If I could have, half a sheet of notepaper. I have a pencil [illeg.], she added, opening her purse, & looking [illeg.] the coins: - A pencil? Have you one - Rose provided one.

The Pargiters, crossing the desert, [Elvira?] wrote: Time: 3.35. July^{June 16}...1910.

[ 42 ]

Bobby – loose skin like dogs scruff. Brown hair. Brown coat. Twinkly eyes. B. Cool. Pugnacious. Shoots out his wrist & draws it back again What Too much of this sort of thing ^[illeg.] I say Action: Oh for (E. speaks: rather ^{[coat?] [illeg.]} solid; respectable) quit Things very critical. And a question of funds. ([nameless?] man; slate coloured: mouth [illeg.] her words [up?] a linear pale face) Question of funds they all say. Fund. Funds. If Mr Pargiter would draft his opinion... Women stop to talk outside open railings window. something about giving [illeg.] Go on & on & on. Voices trail away. Cost of premises in Vincent Sqre...who's been to look at premises in Vincent Sqre?... Birds. Doves. [up?] in| the Square cooing. A Take two coos Taffy, take too coos. Tak. Well I propose that Miss [Parrish?], Mr. Spicer who live down that way - Here Bobby [illeg.]. Cigar? No cigarette. If you’ no objection to smoking? Very close today. One could open the window. . . Perhaps M] Rose got Bobby rose & opened the window behind Elvira more widely.

Taking notes? he said, [smiling?] at her & went back to his seat. The question before the meeting, which was whether this it was to it was, wise to join the militant branch of the suffrage movement or not. He was

[ 43 ]

I must apologise said Lady Lasswade, not only for being so late, but for coming in this ridiculous dress. But its the opera – the Ring.” the meeting continued she laid her white gloves beside her on the table, the meeting continued. Kitty Lasswade: wrote Elvira, on the margin of a leaflet which she had fallen, large, broad faced: eyes far apart; [illeg.]: [illeg.]: Prime Minister dinner party. says [illeg.] [illeg.]. All laugh. Dinner party? Laughter. Behind the scenes. [illeg.] to [illeg.] [illeg.] Must talk. Cat in garden. No [grass?]. Line Washing line in [corner?]. Paper boys crying.

The meeting ended. Mr Spicer had to catch a train. They all stood up, talking

Were you bored?” said Rose, stopping Elvira as she left the room.

Nothing in the whole world ever interested me quite so much” said Elvira, pressing Rose’s hand. She disappeared.

Look here, Eleanor” said Kitty Lasswade.

[ 44 ]

But I go the other way” said Eleanor Drop me at the Tube then said Eleanor; And Rose & Bobby?” said Lady Lasswade. We’re staying: [illeg.]” said Rose. Lady Lasswade dropped Eleanor at the Tube drove on.

She dropped Eleanor at the Tube & went on in her car alone to Covent Garden.

The footman opened the door & spread a rug over their knees as they got into the car & drove off.

When Eleanor had been dropped at the door of The Tube station, the car went on towards Covent Garden. But the narrow streets near the Opera house were blocked. It was [forced?] to go slowly in a long had to take its place in a long line of cars, going at a foots pace. The air smelt of oranges & bananas. ^{with their high piled pale hair} Men & women in full evening dress were walking on the pavement, in the glare of the afternoon sun. their cloaks with flashing green sequins; the carnations in their button holes were walking, among costers & dodging between [Hurriedly?]|they bobbed|up & down;|looking out of place,|holding their shawls|together costers barrows & vans in the glare of the afternoon sun. The air smelt of oranges & bananas. People in People in ordinary day clothes stopped on the pavement to stare at the cars & carriages filing slowly past the policemen to take ther station under the arcade columns at the door of the Opera House. Lady Lasswade drew on her gloves & picked up her bag. The car At last her turn came. She got out, & entered the pushed through the swing doors. She had her

[ 45 ]

I had thought they’d put it off” he said as he sat down. “they say he’s dying.. They both looked at the royal box. There was nobody in it. Programmes lay on the ledge, but there was no bouquet of pink carnations.

They said at lunch that he was rather better” said Lady Lasswade. But Edward had met somebody coming along who said on the contrary that the King was dying.

“Suppose he dies in the middle, said Kitty will they stop it?”

The house was very full. Little winking lights flashed upon ladies heads, as they turned.

[ 46 ]

^Well The end of the London season for one thing" said Edward. ^{looking round}. Another man extered the box. They say things are | about as bad | he cant live | through the night | he said. They say ^{there's just a chance.} the oxygen is ceasing to have an effect... he said as he shook hands. Four doctors are with him:

^The Poor Queen, ^{& for [illeg.]} said Kitty. I wonder what...^she.. from [illeg.] At that moment the conductor emerged from his pushed his way up to his seat, & there was a general outburst of clapping. In another second the lights had sunk & everybody leant back in the darkness. The music began. Kitty leant back against the curtain was curtain of the box. She was not really musical. 1800 | -20 | 40 | 1910 But of all the operas she went to - since her husband had a box; it was a waste not to go ^{to the opera} there - Sigfried was her favourite. The music made her think, not as herself as she was now, but as she had been, as she might have been: she was fifty now & her eldest son was twenty five; - but as herself, ^apart detached from the car, the house in [illeg.] Street, the box at the opera, the cards on the table, the footman opening the door, the bazaar, the glass houses, the meetings for this that & the other up in Scotland. She [long?] [illeg.] was thinking of Eleanor & Bobby & Rose & the little room in Queen Square. She thought how of v free she ^had felt - there: with her cousins: And I might have married Edward she thought, looking stealthily at him. He had leant back in his ch She could only see the outline of his face in the red glow. He was had

[ 47 ]

[ 48 ]

Kitty leant back against the wall of the box – Instinctively she sought liked to feel that she was shaded from observation by the folds of the curtain. She was not really musical but as the Lammermuirs had always taken ^had a box at the opera, it was a waste not to use it The overture, The music playing without anything to look at, : at first had the made her feel always at first gave her the odd feeling ^{made her feel} that she had suddenly stopped dead. Her life was going on: Everything was going on, but she consol consolidated, simplified, removed am leant back & thought for a moment. All the | morning she had | been doing things: | that| she still felt the | movement of the | car | bringing her home: | & [illeg.] She had been very active ^{on a committee} all the morning: & from af she had given a lunch party: & she had gone straight to Queen Square & now she ^{sat still} stopped. She looked stealthily at Edward. H She thought of herself for a moment as a something detached: ^{removed: [illeg.]} Then she lookef stealthily at Edward. She could only see the outline of his face in the red glow. He had lowered his eyes: ^[illeg.] he was looking down at his hands that were clasping his knees. He looked austere, intellectual, handsome. His face was heavier & more [decided?] than it used to be. He had never married. Kitty felt He was her cousin: & Kitty felt that she had something in common with him, with Eleanor, with Rose, with Bobby, some ancient rather rough, primitive, [Yorkshire] [illeg.], which came from being ^a Rigby, ^being Yorkshire, - the being small independent ^[illeg.], not great noble

[ 49 ]

[ 50 ]

[ 51 ]

There was a moment’s darkness: & then a tremendous clapping: the lights were full on. Everybody stood up in their boxes in the stalls clapping. For a moment, even when Van Roog had gone behind the curtain they still stood in their in their dress clothes, black & white, red, yellow, pink, flashing, apparelled & tremendously equipped splendid, wealthy & powerful. Then they [illeg.] [illeg.] & crowding out to dine.

13th July "How much vinegar do you did you say Maggie?" Elvira asked. She was making the salad for dinner; ^Oil Vinegar, oil mustard pepper salt she repeated, as she & then what?' She was [illeg.] Maggie came in from the kitchen with the meat & they began dinner set it down. They ate for some time in silence. & they began dinner. They ate for some time in silence. Maggie was dressed only in a white [housecoat?] & a shawl.

She’s a most interesting curious & interesting woman, Elvira said at length, because her powers of [expression?] have obviously been atrophied by some [illeg.] & painful I should venture to say hideous experience: of which she doesn’t won’t talk about. Just as a tree you know Maggie, if you put a ring round its root all the apples on one side are small ^bitter; wrinkled; & the other side they’re all right. & bitter: bitter, & about the size of a half penny But she’s a fine woman all the same:

[ 52 ]

But what was Rose's experience, d'you suppose? said Maggie. I liked Rose" said Maggie. ^Ohl This is what you did today ^[illeg.] is it, said Maggie: Well I don't see why

[ 53 ]

He had to leave the army you know said Maggie Was Bobby there, said Maggie: I like Bobby ^[illeg.] He got into trouble in the army And then they all went on talking. Mr Spicer & Miss Merton are going to inspect the premises in Vincent Square. Boer War. Well he lit his cigarette, & I thought to myself, this is probably the most [illeg.] & exciting that has ever happened to me.. [illeg.], There must be some connection between music & poetry. I showed told you he opened the window didn't I? Well, it was a most curious effect Maggie: because having obliterated individuals: the paint was [illeg.] & using only the eyeless, word pen get a of course you eliminate half the ^some elements: & then, theres this peculiar music: [illeg.] cries, [illeg.]

[ 54 ]

Life has been as | damnable | [illeg.] In In order to prevent her saying – What? something. What she does say ha that’s why What she doesn't say is so remarkable. What's Maggie doing? Here’s our bus." But it doesn't matter. And then she says "That's our bus. What's Maggie doing? That's our bus." ^{Like this:} That's very remarkable" that's Not that one. Not that one. This one." And then we get in & go off."

Elivira imitated Rose's repeated the word, imitated Rose's voice.

Altogether it was one of the most remarkable [afternoon?] thingsI've ever [illeg.] ^given" she added.

Yes it was rather queer, said Maggie very odd things happen.

They sat eating silently. Maggie went & fetched the asparagus & they helped themselves out of the dish between them.

"At a meeting you say things like this: Is it your pleasure that I should sign this report?"

[ 55 ]

What I felt Maggie was." These are not passers by but people bound together by invisible threads: There was

Was there a garden then? Greenish, said Maggie, Was there a garden then?

One tree: no grass: & chocolate coloured panels: And when Take two coos Taffy take two coo Tak...." That's the pigeons in the Square outside when Bobby opened the window in came there came in

Bobby^? was ^he there^? was he? Yes., with skin that you could lift him up by. Brown eyes. Brown hair. Eleanor too: brown eyes – [illeg.] And when he opened the window, a [illeg.] of rhymeless music: precisely right for the situation: [illeg.]: [illeg.]: women's voices & then a rattle on the railings: without any order, ^{shapeless, music} but precisely right: broken | music: | precisely | right Now what comes next? A cheese, said Maggie: In the larder, on the top shelf."

you don’t say | [lleg.] at a | meeting; A meeting not | like this - We're "Bound together by invisible threads, said Elvira, bringing back the cheese. And then came a sudden rush of air: the room darkened, & Mr Spicer [illeg illeg.] It's a question of funds" It's a question of funds, said Mr Spicer, snapping his mouth too. Action said Bobby. We I live in Westminister. So do I. Steps should be taken to bring them in a

[ 56 ]

And then, Maggie; there was a rush of air; The room darkened & in came a lady robed in jewels, dressed in starlight. “Kitty, said E.” Only I haven’t got the quotation right.” she added, Kitty” said E. And Mr. [Ferman?] drew out his chair to admit the presence of the British peerage Bobby was the one who got into trouble in the Boer war said Maggie

And then there’s a rush of air, & in comes Kitty clothed in starlight.

I dont altogether agree, said Maggie, at last. She pulled the vase of flowers by towards her & began pulling about the flowers. Yes? said Elvira: any I see what you mean, Hunch Any fool could

I mean, she added, Rose comes here & says What are you doing? Rose means says, Theres this meeting Rose says – Come along, & & get a vote. That was what they were saying That wa wasnt it

I was coming to that, said Elvira. But ^{Well, perhaps,} suppose we had votes, then we should be Englishwomen. Do we want to be Englishwomen? I dont.’

[ 57 ]

She danced, said Maggie. Go on from It was a hot summer’s night” said Elvira.

Yes She danced, said Elvira. ^But Go on from “It was a hot summer’s night ... It was a hot summer’s night – Maggie began.

Go on from there. “Power” he said,

[ 58 ]

Power he said being all dressed in gold lace,... Maggie repeated after her. She laughed. Elvira waited. “He was large; he was fat,” she prompted her. “Rather ^Yes” said Maggie. And then he turned to the lady next him?” Yes. “Who was extremely beautiful with diamonds in her hair?” “Yes.” Elvira waited again.

But as there was they had finished dinner, & it was now necessary to make the coffee, Maggie said no more. got up, & went into the kitchen. She came back with her hands full of clothes. She made the coffee & began to sew. For some time nothing was heard but the drip of the coffee, as it it ran through the water fell through the strainer, & the little tap that Maggie’s scissors made, as she cut laid it on the table. She was cutting out a dress, apparently. Elvira lay back on the sofa, reading, now & again in a book which she opened & shut. But perhaps we are Englishwomen” she said at length. Perhaps we’re born English” she Perhaps we cant help ourselves:

Perhaps we’re born English.

Mama was half Spanish, half French” said Maggie. But we havent taken the oath, said Maggie

Not if we’re women” said Maggie, because then you dont. It may be something you cant help. How d’you know Maggie? British [in?] [birth?], passport what about those? I dont think you ^we can help it Maggie, we talk English.

Oh technically, I daresay” said Maggie. Birth, marriage death certificates – But what I

[ 59 ]

What Maggie says is, Elvira repeated, scribbling ^lazily a little man,|does [illeg.]|with bribery|[illeg.][illeg.]: if you d he words in the margin of her book if you dont take the bribe you needn’t be an ass. Like Papa” she added.

Yes, or Edward, or – well who would go & sit in an office all day in order to become the guardian of the

or – Elvira prompted her

Well, any of the people ^toadies one meets at parties.

The toady, the little man ^{on your left} who turned to the duchess & said..

The toady, sitting on your left, then turned to the Duchess & said. . . ? Have you seen Rejane in Madame Sans Gene.

Oh yes, & then they have to go off to offices. Ah, said the duchess, casting her eyes to heaven.

My dear ^{what a} Lady, I have only [illeg.] as I am to have your society says the toady, I have only five & twenty minutes in which to write two columns of dramatic criticism for tomorrow’s paper. And off they drive to their offices in the City. Give us votes says Rose: & I’ll serve the country. No says the Prime Minister: Whereupon Rose says, Give us a vote & I’ll run the country. Whereupon the Prime Minister says, – now Maggie, how would he put it! though speaking privately to the beautiful woman all in diamonds. … I suspect there’s a little room anteroom, leading out of the drawing-room, with two shaded lamps, arm chairs, & one soft & convenient sofa. D’you think he began by taking off his boots."

[ 60 ]

And then he turned to the lady in diamonds” said Elvira: “& opening out of the big drawing room where you sat talking to the gentleman, was a little room, with shaded yellow lamps: & there was two chairs, & one convenient sofa. And he began pulling off his boots. wh. I dont blame him. W. should I, if I sat all day in an office governing the British Empire? And the Toady, the man who sat on your left, turned to the Duchess & said Have you seen Rejane in Madame Sans Gene..? Too wonderful, just divine, he said, & the Duchess was about to reply, when the toady, laying his right hand on his left side, said exclaimed [illeg.] duchess; – or wd. he say my dear Lady! – but I’ve only five & & twenty minutes in which to write one & a quarter columns for tomorrows paper. And so made off. Now what Rose was saying today at the meeting – but Maggie whats the use of my telling you about the meeting if you at once go into the next room in order to find & rummage about in the chest of drawers in order to find…” All right, said Maggie, I’m listening. She had brought in fetched a piece of yellow silk; which she laid on her knee; & began to cut measure. And she came in like ^{clothed with} starlight” Elvira ^{how it goes – that} murmured: I cant get the remember the quotation.” Go on about ^{Rose said} the meeting” said Maggie. I had a little bit of paper somewhere, said Elvira, but I’ve lost it. Never mind. Rose you see was sitting with her back to me, talking. She [illeg.]: very square; very solid;

[ 61 ]

thats why he wont give her a vote” said Maggie I see, said Maggie

But I said to Rose, Elvira continued We have the Prime Minister in the yellow drawing room with the lady” said Elvira Well but look here, Maggie said Elvira, Suppose you’re the Prime Minister; or any other high official: like Papa for example; with a little red box & a sword: pirouetting about in front of a looking glass; governing the British Empire, you dont want a serge skirt that cost £5 10. in the Westbourne Grove.”

[ 62 ]

fill up your forms, or whatever it is that you may by doing—If I hadn’t lost that ^scrap piece of paper, Maggie, I could be more exact,”— in the interest of generations yet unborn; time to come; And then the meeting broke up. And And she said “Are you coming to help us, or are you honestly bored? Not at all, I said: And I replied, — ^{She stopped.}

[ 63 ]

all right, said Elvira. I’ll put it into If you haven’t taken the bribe, Elvira repeated, you needn’t behave like a fool. But, Maggie, when you write a letter you have to wrap things up in Very well: where’s my pen? Now I’ll write it & tell her My dear Rose, she paused, with her pen in her hand, But Poor Rose, she said. there she was, she murmured, sitting with her back to me at the table, very square very solid: My dear Rose, – & I shall therefore adopt a manner that is square & [illeg.]: My dear Rose, no when I left you this afternoon, I said, & it was entirely true, how pleased & indeed excited I was: that was true; we are of opinion, Maggie & I, very But you cant put things brusquely like that, What you must do is to this: here we are sitting after dinner in our room: Maggie & I: She’s sewing,—what are you making?— I need [illeg.] Well, ^{I can} leave that out. Here we are, Rose, Magdalena, Elvira Pargiter, & when you say to us, considering the matter, with the aid of Whittakers, we conclude, that though we thank you, for the offer,—that of trying to become Englishwomen—we we conclude, that the disadvantages & indeed dangers of this position proceeding,—far outweigh the benefits. —that’s the way style, Maggie: we

[ 64 ]

In our opinion the acceptance of a vote makes us liable to honours we deplore, & to services which we abominate—meaning by that degrees, titles, ^degrees & shooting savages with muskets. Moreover, if I there is the it would be surely, incumbent on us—unless we [illeg.]—to accept the teaching ^[illeg.] of the Church of England; to which we are not prepared to do: & to baptism, marriage & burial according to its decrees—& with regard to baptism, marriage, burial & the conduct of the immortal soul, which we are not prepared to do. & Please direct the Prime Minister’s attention [illeg.] [illeg.] Also [illeg.] we Since, as far as we to the best of our knowledge, we have offered them two or three hundred years, to take too made a fair offer to the state these 2 or 300 years, which offer has been always refused ^[illeg.], we now wish to withdraw some & withdraw it, & consider the matter closed. As for our Educa

Had We are Nothing in short N would induce us, Maggie & Elvira Pargiter to become

[ 65 ]

the Pargiters “Marching on, marching on, she said, ^{in an [unbearable?]} its a wonderful procession, from one end of time to the other. And time wh. is from|[illeg.]|through the|thickness of the|pillar past is but a rose leaf on the top of Cleopatra’s needle: compared with times to come. time to come the pillar. Our generation, Maggie, is merely the thickness of a rose leaf: we’re bound on an infinite voyage: so that in twice twelve thousand years a man [by?] into this den,|this cave looking in at this window & seeing us would ^will hold his nose & say Pah they stink. Savages; that’s ^barbarians She sneezed what we are, in the eyes of the future. But to return. To blow one’s nose in a pocket handkerchief he’ll say is an impossible outrage upon the [illeg.] of civilisation ^[illeg.]. My dear Sir, I say to that man, And I shall say, she ble sneezed

But to return: Rose Nasty things, noses, ^[illeg.] hands, finger nails,” She held up her hand & looked at it. And there you sit making ^{sewing sewing} curtain by the light of the moon on the 6th of May nineteenhundred & ten, stitching curtains:

But to return

Its to be a dress, said Maggie

And she came in like starlight lit with jewels,” she added looking at her sister well ^{Its not a curtain, its a} I’m making a dress, said Maggie.

For a party? Elvira asked.

Yes, tomorrow,” said Maggie.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow,” But to return to this generation the letter, ^{she took it up & read}

“It would be incumbent on us, were we

[ 66 ]

"We hope Uncle Abels gout is better; & send him  our best love. Elvir ^Yours Your affectionate cousin,  then sign | your name Elvira Pargiter" said Maggie.  No, no, no, Maggie: there must be some transition,  said Elvira:

No, no Maggie: the art of writing which is a very wonderful art, Elvira dipped her pen in the ink. "We hope..." she began.

God knows, Maggie, its a complicated business, she began ^{broke off}, putting one sentence after another. Thats, ^[illeg.] the moment I put my pen to the paper, & say, as you suggest, we hope Uncle Abels gout is better – I at once see myself taking part in the procession, through the desert with nothing but a clump of trees on the horizon; & the spears of savages; & hyenas howling. & we | come to | a rock Very well What right ^{Now if} have we to break off from the procession; – from one end of time to the other? Here we break At the front, I say, come to the rock here, I say, we, Magdalena & Elvira Pargiter, stop & say to the Pargiters, Here we take our break off. Here we make our own line through the desert, leave you...

She began & stopped Its really a tremendous affair, she said, exciting affair" she said. We hope Uncle Abels gout is better:

[ 67 ]

But my dear Elvira, said Maggie, Well if you feel like that said Maggie, I should put P.S: we said have offered As we have offered [roughly?] we As our offer was repeatedly refused we now withdraw it & consider the matter closed. by

Holding her hand up in front of her she lay for a time, silent. Maggie went on sewing.

She said And she came in like starlight clothed with ... I cant remember how it goes... However, now for the letter," She took up the page she had written & read over:

You see, [illeg.] Maggie, what I intend to say is, we have followed you ... now we are come to this rock: here: this ^{formidable & craggy mountain} where, you & I Maggie turn rubbing our eyes, blow them a | kiss taking a look round say, ^{wave our hands to the assembled company} make off on a track of our own."

She lit a cigarette. Her sister made no reply. The long strips were being stitched together, to make a colou skirt.

Finish the story of the party, Maggie, Elvira coaxed her—what did the man in gold lace say to the lady on his left when you went to the party Maggie?-

They said [nothing?].

[ 68 ]

Its a very enchanting process, being Rose," she added. And the transitions aren't as smooth as they ought to be. But never mind. She If Rose has any common sense She folded ^put the letter & put it in a in an A envelope & addressed it

Now she'll come down tom to breakfast tomorrow morning; & shell see an envelope addressed in an unknown hand lying on the plate. And she'll catch her breath & say, It has come at last - seeing seeing perhaps some man who left her

under the | arch of the | elm tree: at the turn of the road years ago: somebody she loved. who left her, shall we say, under a shower of white syringa in a garden: in a garden by the sea: in the garden of a house which the Pargiters had taken for the Summer: Why did he leave her? Why didn't they marry, Maggie?" at Whitby, shall we say? And for some reason, he went away jumping into the trap which was standing at the door: & the last ^{this lover with the | petals of the | syringa} And he waved his hand: & went: & she; never heard had a single word from him from that day to this, Maggie. So that when she opens my letter, & reads merely my name, she'll trample it under the breakfast table with her heel: or screw it into a little ball . . . .

[ 69 ]

^Besides If Rose loved anybody, ^{said Maggie} it was obviously not a ^not a man" said Maggie. "Look at her clothes" Then the story will have to be completely re-written ^different" said Elvira.

Look at her clothes" she said. And her hands."

Elvira lay silent "Look at her clothes" said Maggie Well?" she asked, putting down her sewing & looking at her sister.

I daresay in ten minutes I shall be able to explain." said Elvira. She lay The [animation?] had lift her. She looked lay huddled up, ungracefully, uncomfortably,

"All right" she said irritably: Maggie went on with her sewing.

"I dont see that it makes much difference" said Maggie at last. "What difference does it make after all? said Maggie at length.

Horror horror horror said Elvira Now its over, she said, sitting up. But whereas, she ^[illeg.] said, I could think of Rose with equanimity in the arms of the man in an [illeg.]; the other thought - Rose & Mildred. is loathsome: just for ten seconds." But in the one case, you see Maggie, I covered them with syringa petals. In the other, - I didn't cover them; at all. I

[ 70 ]

Wait one moment said Maggie. "That's Maggie all over" said Elvira, addressing the som says something of the most profound importance - as for example my body is nothing is yet known of the capacity of the human body: chastity, like an angel all in white with an avenging sword stands in the path of human progress & says, My carriage blocks the way: - is that what you were about to say Maggie when it occurred to you that the cat was or, chastity, unknown bride ^{unknown godess}; whose name we have taken all these years in vain;- Her sister [illeg.].

She began a sentence,

There, poor Puss" said Maggie

And all the

Oh, Maggie, Lud When I'm an old She picked up the dress that was lying on the table. She held it up; & its folds, the silver & the pale yellow hung down, & it hung down in folds of silver & pale yellow

[ 72 ]

"So you'll marry him" she said

Maggie shook her head.

If you say "There poor Puss" like that, you're bound to ^{you [illeg.] she to} And I shall come in & find you stooping over the cradle."

"I haven't made up my mind ^settled" said Maggie.

Elvira began pacing up & down the room.

"You're not made of glass" said Maggie, as the Elvira came between her & the light. in the [illeg.] | light of | [illeg.] | branches | [illeg.] [illeg.]: E Elvira [illeg.] dropped into a chair: Go on Maggie, she said, singing songs over any cradle before the birth of the [illeg.] by the sea. The sun haven't is just [illeg.]: white birds are feeding in flock: now one cries with a desolate ^weird cry that has infinity hope in it, the cry you [illeg.] that sees the world glancing ^[illeg.] beneath it in coloured glo white beads of pure dew: "You're not made of glass" Go on singing by the sea... a stitch in time, saves nine & too many cooks spoil the broth its a long lane that has no turning: She leant her head against the leg of the table. Go on singing, Maggie. Hark hark the dogs do bark the beggars are coming to town, I can't remember how it goes on

But I don't remember how it goes: said Maggie.

How does it go on?" She could not remember. What I was thinking" said Elvira, was simply this: If I can get two respectable [illeg.] & one [illeg.] of religion to [illeg.] may to a piece of what is called an application form - I am talking of the British Museum, Maggie. I can become a member of the greatest reading room in the whole world. A place where dim light falls on hunched backs. Well Then how can Rose say, tapping her pencil with

[ 72 ]

Honorary Litt. D. said Maggie, or something of the kind. Honorary Litt. D. ^{or something of the kind} I said nothing but throwing my head back so - "she threw her head back, I sniffed the air: of that establishment; & decided in the flick of a second & sniffed the contaminated & compromising air: I remember And there we ^{had strawberries & cream} went to tea in Edwards rooms" said Maggie. Strawberries & cream: the air that is neither one thing not the other: corrupt" said Elvira.

After all ^Well they have to make ^earn their living" said Maggie.

Now This wretched cat, said Elvira, now wants ^he to be let out.

And Edward said taking the Antigone of Sophocles from done into English Rhyming Verse by Edward Pargiter from the bookcase, said - Let me see: what did Edward say: - Oh poor old Edward; she

[ 73 ]

He's not a poet no, so what else is he to do." ^she that's poetry Maggie, in the ^its pre-natal stage, before it has taken wings to itself & flown to the - " she paused at the bookcase, & took down the Antigone, translated by Edward Pargiter - ^[illeg.] to the utmost .... "

She dropped into a chair & began to read. Magdalena began tidying up her sewing. She swept the [illeg.] & snippets of silk together, I cleared the table, & began searching for pen & ink & note paper.

Are you going ^{Do you mean} to send your letter to Rose?" she asked. Elvira did not answer. She sat herself down at the table, & dipped her pen in the ink; My dear John" she wrote; & began began drawing on the blotting paper. ^{Circles, squares, | crescents, | branching | crossing | growing out of | each | other..} The sound of a church striking the hour at last roused her.

Nine, ten, - ^{she [illeg.]} heavens, its eleven" she exclaimed. Look here Maggie El Hunch" she said, "I helped you with Rose: you help with John..." - John was their elder brother, now ^[illeg.] in Mexico.

That can't possibly be the right translation" said Elvira: - this

"The congealed remains of last nights mutton" said Elvira, banging her book shut. "Well? I've got to write to John" said Maggie. an innocent English sheep: & ^or shall we say Queen Victoria writing to the Prince Consort:

My dear John, Edward Pargiter should be stood out on the led out on Tower Hill

[ 74 ]

You see Maggie what happens is this" said Elvira. Edward puts on his cap, & takes his gown from a hook on the wall. Its a dismal January day & the rain is falling mildly but into a [persedence?] that does it credit. (And Edward says to the assembled company of callow gaping youths [illeg.] on narrow seats with note books.) The rain ^water runs in the gutter & makes a chuckling noise as it descends the pipes. Flowers are dim, an air of mild respectability broods over everything. Bells ring. If I were paid | to say it I shd | say it Ive | Sophocles | therefore he | goes on | saying it. | [Cam?] [illeg.] | [illeg.]' | she say: in | the other way | about. Men with his cover in trap pass to & fro. And Edward says to the assembled company of callow youths with red hands, & faces that will adorn pulpits, & shoot pheasants, standing in ranks in turnip fields, Sophocles he says: being paid, you see, to say it: so the lecture continues: & if you so the lecture continues. My dear John, shoot all down & haveall lectures.

"My dear John?" Maggie repeated with her pen in the air. Hurry up.

"It is a ^very long time since since I wrote to you, Elvira began: she stopped

Well perhaps it will do tomorrow" said Elv Maggie

He's John is a handsome" Let me see John Well Maggie Well he's just come in from riding & he dressed all in white. The sound of the

[ 75 ]

Its dull, ^work writing lies" she broke off. Oh we haven't seen John for seven years." Maggie [illeg.]

The only objection to a lie is that its dull" And ^Now why is a ^are lies dull? Maggie? but never mind; family being what it is: if [illeg.] says Lie to your brother: The. Rose lied. They all lied at that meeting.

[ 76 ]

Edward lies Everybody lies who's paid. Is that so, Maggie? Edward lies every time he puts on his cap & gown & lectures. Diluted truth. respectable compromises: give the right answers" Cold mutton.

But as we | dont know | John -" Well, he has to earn his living" said Maggie. But then whats ^whos John whats [illeg.]? But then ^we as we've forgotten what John's like - He ^Who may be [illeg.] natives in a council chamber:^{[illeg.] [illeg.]} Elvira pondered, he may be riding a flea bitten grey mare at the head of his troops: lying with a native woman among the ^{in hot} pampas grass. So we invent the Wilkinsons on Campden Hill. telling lies.

What would be the [illeg.] we cant tell the truth: so we may as well invent - We'

Better tell him lies After the Academy what comes next?" "More lies. Everybody lies."

After Go on . . "We went to the Royal Academy. The Sargents are very fine "Go on" "And do you think John that brothers & sisters will ever be able to tell each other the truth..

And is it your opinion John that brothers & sisters will ever be able to tell each other the truth? Because in my For my part, No: ^{one cant say that} that wouldn't do" said Maggie:

Then say, Aunt Margaret has a cold: Uncle John Abel the

Dont thats silly ^{Go on"} said Maggie

They say."

"Of course they can" said Maggie.

[ 77 ]

Maggie yawned ^rose & stretched herself. The cat also rose. Stretching itself, it event stole with the long stealthy movement of a wild beast making its path through the jungle across the room. ^{If [she?] [illeg.] a [kiss?]} "John would lean down from the elephant; & shoot. - if that were a tiger" said Elvira Perhaps The The tiger would make one wild leap, [illeg.] the elephant: but fall back The elephant would trumpet. ^John Major Parker would then fire from his his second barrel; & Major Parker, in [illeg.] .... firing at the same time, the tiger would reel from side totter, stagger & fall, with a growl, & groan. There in the [scent?]. Dark blood would soa soak the sand.

Or he may have shot a tiger" she added, as the cat stole with the long stealthy movements of a wild beast stretching itself across the room. "Leaning down from the elephant, John raised his rifle: fired: the tiger sprang, the elephant peaked out a wild be squeal: birds rose clapping ^{[illeg.] [illeg.]} iron coloured wings: Got him” said ^Major Parker. By God no, said John ^{there was a click} his rifle having jammed. with one well aimed shot Parker brough Parker fired next; & the tiger swayed, tottered [illeg.] & fell with a thud in [scent.?] Dark blood soaked through the sand. – We cant say for certain what John’s up to” she added. He may be shooting tigers, or he may not” she added.

John is a dream to us: a wild romantic dream.

[ 78 ]

Perhaps tomorrow will do, said Maggie Tomorrow & tomorrow & tomorrow. Tomorrow's the party Maggie. Tomorrow…" she paused. "You needn't cry" said Maggie. There's nothing to cry about I daresay ^perhaps I shall say No" No Maggie, what you'll say is this: sitting beside him on a dark seat; sitting beside him & holding in your hand something that you've picked, going through the gardens perhaps only a handful of ivy leaves: You wont say anything after a time he’ll get up & say, not as I say it, but in a gasp: & hoarse: & gruff. & two words. ^{the [illeg.] by} you'll lean | theirs: | you'll smell | this | bitter London | soot in | this: & you, who have been drowning in deep green sealed up, silenced in deep green waters, at that [illeg.] [illeg.] cry will rise to the surface brandishing a white lily. That's how it will happen. drawn out, | in [illeg.] And the garden, going back will seem to [illeg.] an infinitely ^[illeg.] long [waving?] place you'll stop, for example, at a puddle you'll stop at an iron trellis: And then come in into the drawing room, like starlight hid with jewels.

She took up the dress

"But why? Should one have to?" said Maggie. There perhaps, there grow grass" Elvira [illeg] imitated her voice, as she imitating her sisters voice, There poor Puss, she said rocking the cradle." Oh, whats the sense [of?] it?"

Its People will all fall back with into their seats amazed. Its [illeg.] will [illeg.] in the hands of [dowagers?]:

[ 79 ]

Bring em up on an island” said Elvira, planted with groves of trees as for inhabitants, let them be none, but gentlemen & women who dig. Then tell your son, if he makes a living by [illeg.] or cheating that you’ll throw him off the highest rock into the sea. The girls shall run wild & [illeg.] [soup?] And read books, which are dropped in crates by… the British Navy.

But nobody shall say this is good or bad. Anyhow they needn’t ^wont go to Eton: we shall be very ^[illeg.] poor" said Maggie. We shant shant be able to send them to Dressed in sandals. And then they'll walk up Piccadilly dressed in sandals" said Maggie. "No"

Oh Lord, oh Lord, sighed Maggie stretching herself – Why is life what life is? Agony from start to finish" said Elvira. Violence & terror & excitement, a matter of swords & pistols. But a tremendous flourish all the same, for an adventurer"

Sometimes I envy old [illeg.]" said Maggie: going into clubs in Piccadilly?” asked Elvira. Oh I dont want to go to Eton & Oxford" said Maggie: "but its a safe life; - a [illeg.]" Its A bad bad life, a false life, a dull life, usual life; rewarded very appreciatively by [they?] pieces of cheap metal, like Papas.little tin cross. I [illeg.] what | I said to | Rose Still if they like it," she added, let ‘em have it by all means. I dont grudge the Lord Chancellor. Nor the Archbishop of Canterbury. Nor the King on his [blazing?] throne stuck about with pigeons eggs of solid ruby,

[ 80 ]

Sell grandmama jewels. Put em up the spout at Elvira suggested. Two hundred & fifty a year after all, two hundred & fifty a year & say we have two children: well, thats four people how are four people to live on two hundred & fifty?

Very sensibly" said Maggie, "otherwise, how are You are going to end it – I mean, if you're ^she you want to – pull down whatever it is: want to do it – if she wants to end corruption: Piccadilly, & whatever its corruption & so on: making money: She must go to a room, & [illeg.] in Holborn. What Rose says is we want money to to live on; "Well she must say, ^{says well,} Maggie This is all Humbug. Give us – two hundred – two fifty & nobody in their senses wants to give me whatever the sum is – two fifty? this

[ 81 ]

I'd better add a postscript" said Elvira. P.S. Rose should say Addressing the Prime Minister - ^{Rose should} Look here, milord Duke, what with chastity, - [illeg.] & looking after old gentlemen who have shot off half their fingers in the wars (thats what Elene like my sister Eleanor) we, [illeg.] the undersigned have inherited, sitting all day in dark rooms, - for Abercorn terrace always seemed ^smelt to me Maggie, very dark, slightly of vegetables – a very with the [illeg.] a very exalted position, milord Duke. Which tradition we intend to preserve. which tradition has not, come to think of it, much in common with yours. Because you For whereas the gentlemen of England, never [illeg.] a finger except for pay – (how we could [illeg.] to Whittaker’s Almanac.) we, the never raise a finger except for pay, & are trained to that end ^[illeg.]- we, on the other hand, never make a penny, & are trained for it. – Thats Edward, cramming his [illeg.] with Sophocles) we, on the other Well its plain common sense, you cant do which is not enough. On the other hand, one [illeg.] two thousand pounds is too much.

[ 82 ]

The meeting? said Elvira: A met A meetings a queer thing Maggie. [illeg.]: like a [illeg.] of stone all smooth: but [ponderous?]. Where are the eyes & the the [illeg.] [said?]? slipping my hand over the smooth surface. And there voi were voices outside: cats [illeg.]: scream crying children"

Its so simple, said Maggie. What Rose ought to say is that might form a postscript to my letter" she added. Oh its What’s the good of letter writing" said Maggie yawning. And its bed time. She'll have to do, [illeg.] she said taking the dress, & folding it holding it against herself. The silver & pale yellow ^green shone in shine as she moved. "It may ^{Is it} to too long" she said; or it maybe too short. is it too short?" Thats a very interesting question" said Elvira. Now if I cross Waterloo Bridge in a mackintosh which belonged to Mama, in a man driving a cart would say – what would he say? What oath, what voluntary sudden unrehearsed shower & in which drop turns into drop, so that whether its language or a [men?] shoot of sound before language – anyhow, because my mother wore it, when she trapsed the Highlands, the man [illeg.] ^[illeg.] one a a mark for his [shirt?]: a whipping post: one of those outcast figures that parade the streets: [illeg.] blackened: nothing in last but an old Guy Fawkes: whereas when my mother wore it in the Highlands, men fell on their knees by the side of the river ^[illeg.] & swore... picked up the lace handkerchief which she had dropped on purpose. She was a liar, our mother. And died in front of the glass in wh. you’re now working Maggie, dressed for a party."

[ 83 ]

Somebodies come home drunk & wants to let in said Maggie. A window was thrown up – a womans voice was heard shrieking abuse. And antelopes would come down to the lakes to drink said Elvira.

There! she’s let him in" said Maggie as a door slammed.

“And he'll throw himself down on a bedstead, or on the floor & [illeg.] [illeg.], said Elvira: And be sick. And go to work at the docks tomorrow morning: And then, you know how they swing things onto ships: well, one of these days he’ll be half crushed by a heavy sack & be for months in hospital in the Isle of dogs where she'll fo visit him with all the children. And have a fit & die" [illeg.] had [again?] fallen on the street.

No time to let you know, the name will say to Mrs Upcher when she goes; in the afternoon. But she'll see the body, I suppose.

Time for bed anyhow" that'll | have to do" said Maggie. She f held the dress she had been making against herself for a minute, look "That'll have to do" she said. It maybe then she folded it & laid it on the table She went to the window & looked out. The factory chimney was

[ 84 ]

Cant be selling vegetables at this time of night, said Maggie: the voice came nearer. leaning out of the window. The voice came nearer.

Death, said Elvira, death, death, but they could not catch the second word, until a man wheeling a barrow shouted up to them death of The King's dead."

[ 85 ]

She had just landed from Greece. She was brown all over Her face was completely brown, save for little strokes of white round her eyes where she had crinkled them together to avoid the glare. She was coming to spend a week end with Morris: & here, at last, was the station. The m A man boy, touched his hat to her & gave her a note. It was from her sister in law to say that she apologise for not coming herself. & to There was an old carriage drawn by one rustic looking horse waiting; Ja Eleanors bag was lifted up: & they started, with James perched high, & Eleanor behind, looking at the silver plated crested buttons on his old buff coloured coat. He had a few parcels to pick up in the town, he said. They stopped at the fishmongers: they stopped at the ironmongers: they stopped at the chemists. to

The midges were very bad this James said coming out with a large bottle wrapped in tissue paper.

Eleanor [sniffed?] up the smell of

[ 86 ]

“Midges bad this year James?” asked Eleanor.

People stood in ^on the under the awnings of the shops – it was a very hot summer – talking, as if they were all ^one family Eleanor, as she sat, noticed how often the men touched their lifted a finger ^{to their hats,} & the women smiled at each other, as they sauntered along ^{looking in at the shop windows}. James came out at last with a large bottle wrapped in tissue paper.

“Midges very bad this year James?” asked Eleanor, recognising a lotion.

The midges were worse than James could ever remember. The drought was the longest he could remember, ^{They did say} It was the hottest summer, they said, since jubilee year. The parcels were all ^{tucked in &} they they drove on, past the m market cross, past the old red brick town hall & the with its gilt clock out along the shabby little eighteen street of eighteenth ^[illegible] century houses, which soon t came to an end, & then ^soon the road became a lane, with dusty hedges on either side, wreathed with dusty garlands of travellers joy. The old horse settled into his methodical jog, & Eleanor leant back under the shade of her white & green parasol. ^umbrella.

[ 87 ]

Now who stayed here? she asked herself as she went into the low ceilinged hall with the mats on the floor. The sight of the two columns, & of the admirals ^hat over the mantelpiece always reminded her that somebody when George the Third was at Weymouth had stayed here -

[ 88 ]

“How cool it all looks,” said Eleanor thought, as she got down. & went into the hall, strewn with shabby old mats, & shabby armchairs. “But who was it the famous ^person who stayed here?” she asked herself. The sight of the Admiral’s portrait over the mantelpiece always reminded her that somebody had stayed here, perhaps George the Third, when the Court was at Weymouth; or one of the characters in one of Jane Austen’s novels. It seemed such a short time ago, the eighteenth century,

[ 89 ]

^{It all went|very well..} “It was a great success: but rather exhausting. ^{but is}So very hot. But what a mercy, after last year, when they had had to move everything indoors. So I couldnt come to the station. ^&Lady [Chiltington?] was so good, she stayed right to the very end. Now you’ll want to wash.”

Eleanor washed slowly, methodically, in cold water, standing in her white petticoat, in the spare room, where there would certainly be biscuits in case she wanted by the bed side in case she wanted to eat biscuits in the middle of the night.^{& a novel, a|poem, & a|biography,|if shd|wish to|read} The English sun still made her face prickle all over where the Greek sun had burnt it. There Her neck was cut off from her chest as if it had been painted brown, she thought as she slipped on her evening dress. Dressing had become a habit: she always wore the same jewel hung the same jewel – a red blob like congealed raspberry ja jelly – round her neck, twisted her thick brown hair rapidly in a coil, & gave a glance in the looking glass at this woman who had been for fifty five years Eleanor Pargiter. That she had taken to frowning was obvious; there were three perpendicular white streaks at the top of her nose.

[ 90 ]

“Sir William Watney–" Morris said, with a jocose emphasis, to inform her that, in the thirtyfive years that had passed since Dubbin h used to come to Abercorn Terrace, he had become a knight, or been knighted, had been transformed.

“But are we as all like that?” Eleanor asked herself: looking from the grizzled rather [stained?] rather crumpled plump face of the boy she remembered at Morris’s. Her face clouded. Morris He looked worn; haggard: thin haired: but ^{to be} she always thought of him & of herself he was still in the prime of life. Then her nephew George came in, & her neice Peggy, & her sister in law, & they went in to dinner. How had Dubbin become Sir William Watney? she wondered as she ate the fish which had been brought up in a parcel: She had last met ^{seen him | in [Thames?]}him in a boat on a river: But they were all talking at of course about the fête. Peggy & George were the youngest of Morris’s children: only eighteen & twenty: & looking at them, in their opposite her, with their perfectly healthy, almost expressionless, pink & white faces, she could still feel, not that

[ 91 ]

Dont you envy my sister in law, said Celia? She’s just come back from Greece.

Indeed said Sir William. What part of Greece? We went to Athens & to Olympia & to Delphi Eleanor began.

It was a tour.” said Celia, conducted by her brother in law Edward. You remember Edward? said Morris ^{Indeed I do said|Sir. W W.|a very handsome|chap} I suppose Edward was in his element he added. Lecturing. TheI’ve no I’ve no doubt he did it very well.

^{all the old| ladies and} Everybody adored him said Eleanor, ^{She was never} [illeg.] [illeg.] to [Nigs?]. I was in Greece ten years ago,” said Sir William, with an old chum of mine. You remember Higgens? There was a diversion [illeg.] Higgins? And did you come across anyone at the Embassy?” he said turning again to Eleanor. She shook her head. She used to stand away from the lecture, she thought, & look at birds through her glasses – a deplorable habit. There’s going to be trouble there in the very near future, unless I’m mistaken” said Sir W. turning to Morris.

The boy George pricked up his ears, Eleanor saw. Now the three men wd: discuss politics: Was Dubbin in What had Dubbin gone into? Obviously he had lived in the East.

What strikes one on coming back to England’, he was saying is . . . & again;

[ 92 ]

Celia [illeg.] her, “I’ve been trying to find Sir William a house in the neighbourhood” she said. What strikes me coming back to England” he said, is that all you people live in the dark. The retired official, Eleanor thought, listening to his they di humorous, rather [illeg.] description of houses in the country: the reference to his wife; the ladies wanting society: so that there [illeg.] [illeg.] be- daughter also: & then the & it was all very familiar. Her father used to talk rather like that, with slight brilliance, slight contempt. After all she thought it must be unpleasant to be left at the age of fifty five & have to start life again dawdle about on a pension, But she was rather in the same position she thought: only she felt she was just about to begin life. For one thing she would not never have servants waiting on her. She would live in a & Crosby was pensioned off. She would live in a couple of rooms & do everything for herself. She looked at Morris. What a [illeg.] it was for him, keeping up this sort of thing! She thought again that he had aged. There was a worn, worried look: He wasnt ‘Sir’ Morris. He never seemed quite to bring it off. He made quite enough, but never he had to work & work.

What odd things we do with our lives, she thought. Could we have done anything different Was I right when I urged him to go to the Bar? Was Papa right when he wanted him to go into business? Has he had as happy a life as he

[ 93 ]

But Sir William was telling a really interesting story, in clipped, nervous sentences, about a very high about two great public figures: & they were had quarrelled: & “one morning I was [supposed?] to [illeg.] [sick?]: saying come round & see me: & so I put on my hat: & there he was: heres a chair|for [illeg.] [illeg.]|[fellow?]: Now, he said to me, look here, I’ve asked you here in confidence: I dont expect an answer on the spot: but just like this: he said: put it in your pocket: & go home & think it over Well now in those days I may tell you there was no direct communication between

“Give Sir William some more wine” Celia whispered to the new boy.

The story was reaching its climax And I found myself the in the very dirty clothes I was in an old pair of riding breaches, & a solar topee standing in a sacred pla under a peacocks tail where no European had ever been before with their faces to the ground. Good Lord, I said to myself, if they only knew what a bally ass I feel! But I didn’t let on you know. . .

That’s the sort of thing that makes you was the way R. D. found out what was in you” used to be treat his young and to put us through our paces.” He looked at George. without [illeg.] Eleanor admired Sir William. She felt that It was wonderful what men of that sort did do: yet she had a feeling that yet there was something faintly distasteful to her. He was boasting. That was very natural after all. And she had a feeling that she would have to listen to a great many stories of that kind

[ 94 ]

There was a patient look about Morris now. Was I right when I urged him to go to the Bar, she thought? Papa was against it. How irrevocable – it all is she thought: fumbling about in her mind She would pension Crosby off: & live in two rooms. She felt quite ready to start again - But her own life had been broken up dozens of times: Celia rose.

We are [illeg.] make our own [improvement?]: then they make theirs: She looked at her nephew & niece. George was listening to Sir William talk intently. He was obviously thinking of his own future, as Sir William meant him to. Peggy was looking down at her plate. Was she thinking saying to herself Oh my God Oh my God as Delia used to say, walking up & down the drawing room at Abercorn Terrace? She had the perfectly non-committal look which people have have when they listen to sou what

[ 95 ]

“There he goes” she said suddenly, in a low voice: Th The owl” she said catching Eleanors eye.

You can time him, he’s so regular.”

It made a break

We’ll take our coffee on the terrace, its so hot” said Celia.

“We’ll come” said Morris. But as they left the room, Eleanor had a feeling that the men were all drawing up at the end of the table to talk about politics, in a conspiracy. She felt that they were glad that she & Celia & Peggy were going. She felt rather as she did in one of the Greek churches when the ladies had been shut out from some sacred spot: & again they had been shut out at Pompei, because a picture was indecent. It amused her rather: it did not make her angry, as it made Rose. After all if men liked that sort of thing. the churches|& museums|belonged to|men: & so|they had|a perfect right But she wanted to see the owl before it was too dark. She went up to fetch her glasses. Celia was pouring out coffee.

He’ll be back in the meadow said Peggy. He’ll come along that hedge. Eleanor focussed her glasses.

What is all this about Rose?” said Celia handing her a cup.

Rose, said Eleanor absentmindedly, adjusting the focus. It’s getting just too dark” she added.

Rose threw a brick – said Celia.

Yes she threw a brick at one of the windows in Downing Street” said Eleanor.

Will she be put into prison? asked Peggy quickly.

[ 96 ]

He has his nest in the steeple” said Peggy. “I do think it so silly – so idiotic” said Celia. It only irritates men & makes them think us ridiculous.

Well but Mummy we do pay taxes” said Peggy.

^{There he goes|round|[illeg.] on the|owl|[illeg.] over the|elm tree|close to them}There he is again, said Celia. Eleanor That’s a starling said Eleanor. There was a chattering in the distant of the trees.

The starlings are out here now” said Eleanor. She had no wish whatever to discuss Rose, or the suffrage with Celia & Morris: she knew so well without asking what they thought: She knew without asking what Sir William thought. She turned the talk away from the dangerous subject.

Do tell me about William Watney” she said. D’you know, I hadnt met him for twentyfive for twenty five years. He was

Peggy laughed.

That must have been ages ago” she said. “Well not so very long” said Eleanor, a little hurt. “Twenty, Twenty-five years” then she reflected: it was before Peggy was born, before Morris married Celia.

Isnt he delightful?” said Celia. He was in India, you know. It I don’t exactly know what but [illeg. very very distinguished. Hes retired now: but he talks of taking a house here. But Morris doesn’t [think?] he’ll find it too dull, after what hes been used to. . .

[ 97 ]

Its going to be another hot day tomorrow” said Peggy. The sun had The sky was a perfectly smooth grey blue, until it reached the horizon: then there was a bar of pure green. Everything looked very settled, very still, very pure. There was not a single cloud, the stars had were not yet showing. Eleanor began to lose her feeling that England was small She began to love forget her the [shows?] ^{cliffs & the} high blue & white of Greek mountains. This was very beautiful too. Now that the sun had sunk, the trees began to lose their heaviness: the hills became sharpened & simplified. The wood was on the slope was like a [illeg.] [mass?].

^{How lovely its} "It’s very lovely here" she said, as if she were making amends for her disloyalty. “If only Mr. Robinson doesn’t build, as he threatens” Celia sighed. This was the perennial The Robinsons were the local scourge – such people who might build. “I did my best to be polite to them at the Bazaar today. ^{The sense of|England was|rapdily returning|to Eleanor} Some people wont ask them. I say one must be polite to people in the country.

“They give ripping parties” said Peggy. “Ripping – rip ripping” Celia complained half laughing, “I wish you wouldnt ^{[illeg.] use} use all George’s slang." And Maggie’s married” she said. “Oh there are so many things I want to hear about” she added. What about Abercorn Terrace? Have you had an offer yet?” They began talking, They had not seen each other for three months. There was a great deal of family news. It dropped One question followed another disconnectedly, rather as if a bottle full of water was half held up.

And Maggie?” she asked. When is her baby to be born?

No for ^{Not till} October, I think” said Eleanor. I do hope she’ll be all right” said Celia. “But

[ 98 ]

The French are very good at that sort of thing, I should imagine.” said Eleanor.

But they’ll be French, Maggies children, [entirely?] French” said Celia. The husband is|said to be|quite a nice|gay man René, René – it doesnt sound to me like a man’s name” she continued. One can call it Renny, mama” said Peggy. But that sounds like Ronny” And I cant bear the name Ronny.” I’m sorry D’you Maggie married a Frenchwoman, she concluded. "Her children will be French” & the|Pargiters are|so very|English Eleanor thought of a letter she had had from Elvira in Greece, a long letter, a letter describing the French people with whom she was staying.

“D’you ever see Elvira?” she asked, turning to Peggy.

Peggy laughed again.

Not since the famous occasion she said when We took her to the Fourth of June” she added Ask George to describe ^{tell you} it: I rather liked her ^[illeg.], she added. Only she looks so queer”

“It’s such a pity” said Celia. But the way she dresses..."

It’s such a pity” said Celia. She paused. The maid came out to clear away the coffee things. She began remembering with [illeg.] scolding her in a dignified way for some mistake she had made at dinner about the wine. What were we saying? she added when the maid was out of earshot. About Elvira: Why What a pity Aunt Eugenie had every virtue no doubt What a pity They had no regular education of course. And Aunt Eugenie, though she had every virtue I’m sure, left them to run wild: & their the brother being so much older: & Uncle Digby dying when he

[ 99 ]

There was the sound of men’s voices: & the scent of cigars. The chairs were rearranged, & they sat looking across the meadow at the fading hills. Rather to her embarrassment, her nephew George sat beside Eleanor. Her nephew & her niece were so extraordinarily far from her. What were they thinking & feeling underneath those smooth pink & brown egg shell faces? She noticed that George was smoking a cigar, probably Sir Williams gift. There was no need to talk, however. It was so dark, so peaceful, so cool. The owl flew down the hedge again. They could only just see the flash of his wings now. The trees had become [illeg.] dead black against the sky. Their leaves made an ^{a [illeg.]} irregular pattern, a pattern with holes in it. Through a hole she suddenly saw a star. She looked up. There was another star.

Another ^{Its going to} fine day tomorrow” said Morris. [hot?] fair” he added. Far away on a distant road they heard a sound of wheels, & then the shout of voices singing.

“Saturday night” said Morris. But we are English, we cant help being English” Eleanor sa said thought, as if she arguing with somebody; only but she had forgotten who it was. Maggie & Elvira said they werent English: didnt want to be English. For a moment she had an extraordinary feeling of loathing towards Sir William. You try to keep us out of everything but you cant keep us out of that. For the moment England seemed to her

[ 100 ]

A bat came swooping over their heads, Automatically Celia raised her hands to her hair. Eleanor knew what she was going to say – about bats getting into ones hair. It swooped again or close to their feet. It was getting quite dark. The trees were scarcely distinguishable. The hills had become part of the sky. Somebody came out onto the gravel behind them.

“Yes we’re coming in” said Celia. “Its Mama": she said to Morris. I’ll go” She got up & went in.

[ 101 ]

After the dark the drawingroom with its lamp had the effect of a stage. This was partly because old Mrs Chinnery, was di sitting in a wh an ^very old woman, with in a white cap, was sitting in a wheeled chair [illeg.]by the fireplace, with her ear trumpet as if she had having made a ^her formal entry, wanted homage. She was over eighty; she had a little hawk like nose, sunk in [illeg] cheeks; a bright screwed up blue eyes. If not herself an Admiral, she was the daughter of one^{of an Admiral} & the widow too. As Eleanor bent over her hand, life once more took on ^its familiar proportions: ^{the old | taking [illeg.]|from the young.} she was accustomed to very old people; so; she had bent over her father’s chair for years & years: She felt that She knew the whole procedure: Each in turn said something to Mrs Chinnery The their deference to her, her courtesy to them; & then the panic when she was no longer interested in their affairs; & then the green [bridge?] table & the cards, & the old ladies pleasure; & her & their willingness to play; not that they wanted to: but it was rather pleasant, being children again; & Morris calling her "Madam" & chaffing her; So they plated whist - she & Sir William against Morris & Mrs Chinnery; & Peggy it seemed [illeg.] on the piano; & Celia dozed over her embroidery - until & now & the the moths dashed from lamp to lamp, until until the door opened [illeg.], & “North”, a discreet black maid with a white shawl over her arm, stood behind Mrs Chinnerys chair. She was | wheeled off | to bed After that they were all overcome with sleep. Celia kept giving a short sharp sigh & [illeg.] her hand over her mouth. they began little sudden short breaths & put their hand over their mouths. Come along

[ 102 ]

“But do be careful” He was going off to bathe. “Do be careful his mother said, as she kissed him good night. Peggy lagged behind. Eleanor heard them whispering in the hall.

“Come along Peggy” Ele Celia called back over the landing. “You’re not to go with George” she said rather sharply. Peggy followed them p up into the landing: she bent her head & kissed her mother obediently. But Eleanor felt almost certain that there was some ^a plot on foot. ^{Peggywas young} She meant to go bathing with George in spite of her mother. She would go to her room & undress & then what? [Getting?] down out of the window? Eleanor listened, as she undressed by the open window. But she heard nothing: only the trees moved rumbled faintly in the garden outside. Perhaps she was mistaken. How little one knew of what the younger generation was feeling, she though: remembering the non-committal look in their faces at dinner And then how Peggy had laughed at the notion that William Watney could ever have been young & handsome. She lay in her nightgown on the top of her bed with only one sheet over her. The candle [illeg.] by her side. She lay listening vaguely & thinking of the younger generation. She Then she thought It was Elvira who said one wasnt English” She had been [illeg.]

[ 103 ]

Oh the younger generation,” she thought again, as she lay listening. What queer ideas they’ve got in their heads. They dont believe any of the things we used to believe” she thought. Oh but I dont know, she rambled on. “We used to disobey Mama too. Delia dressed up in a veil & walked down the Burlington Arcade. . . But Maggie & Elvira discuss all sorts of things we should never have dreamt of talking of. . . Rose’ll get herself locked up one of these days . . . If only I could get rid of Abercorn Terrace . . . Then I should pension Crosby off. Then I should take two rooms, somewhere near Notting Hill. It seemed to her that she was not at all old. She thought that her life was only just beginning. Then she looked in the china box beside her bed - There were four biscuits in it; & two pieces of chocolate, wrapped in silver paper. There were also Celia had provided her also with Lambs tales from Shakespeare: Queen Victorias Journal [illeg.] life in the Highlands; & the Diary of a Nobody. She Aug. 7th thought she heard a sound in the garden. But perhaps it was only the rumbling of the trees. Where are we all going? she thought putting her finger between the pages of the book, which & putting it ba on the [illeg] sheet. Perhaps it was because she had been travelling [lately?] so that it seemed as if wheels the ship were still padding steadily. along across the sea, as if the train was still jolting along the railway lines; she felt had at any [illeg.] at any rate a sense of that things were moving round her. Only

[ 104 ]

The trees [illeg.] in the garden. It was a very hot night. Nothing moved in all the field. The cows lay still, chewing the cud.